The Job Hunting Cycle

Freedom and Excitement
Initially, after I graduated last year, I was very excited to do all the things I wanted to do before settling down in the job. It was the period you dreamed of Grad Trips, catching up with all your long lost friends and also doing things that you enjoy. At this stage, I still have not quite make sense of what’s a job all about and was blindly trying to follow what others did. I was fearful what a job might entail as well and hesitated to take a step out of the comforts of the school environment.

Steep Learning Curve
Then when I started to apply for jobs, learning how to write resumes and do interviews, and realise that it was common not to hear at all from the other side or wait more than a month for them to reply, it was something new to me. I don’t know you if call this a steep learning curve, but I learned so much from this period. I learned we all made the excuse that “Oh, must be the recession.” I was less harsh on myself because of this “recession” which made me feel it was okay I was taking so long. I learned how to capitalise on my experiences to prove my capability.

Anger and Disillusionment
Then came denial when I realised I couldn’t secure myself a job or a pay and worse still I did not know what I want to do. (Yes, even if I knew what I want to do, it dawned on me I might not get the job. I lost my youthful idealism for a while and accepted that I might just need a stepping stone job.) This was the stage that I would snap at people or not talk to them about the topic openly when people kept asking me about it.

Discouragement and Self Doubt
There was also a period of depression and great self doubt. Every time I hear someone finds a job, I start to question myself whether something was missing in my life that I couldn’t prove to anyone I able to contribute to their cause. Did I not learn and grow enough the past 22 years of my life? This was the period that I really sought advise, encouragement and help from people. I recognise I do not know a lot of things and I was not in control of my situation. People’s words of rebuke and encouragement, concern when they ask “How’s the job search?”, or prayer for my job, or just assuring me to take my time was greatly comforting.

Freedom, Acceptance and Getting the Hang Out of it
Finally came the accepting and making sense. I realised I do enjoy searching for job. I enjoy the freedom of exploring. The freedom of going on holiday or attending seminars/conferences anytime. The freedom of having a flexible time table and being able to accommodate to the rigid structures of others because of this. Gratitude that I was provided for even when I had no job. And really the chance to ask God honestly, “Hey, what do you really really want me to do? And what is Your purpose for me during these 6 months of job hunting?”